The worse feeling in the world has to be the feeling of missing a person more than anything and having that person not even thinking twice about selling you out. Something worse than that though, is having that certain someeone be your first love.
Let me tell you a story, from the very beginning..
Ryan was someone who I would never go for, ever. He was this sports guy who cared more about his popularity more than anything, this guy would literally sell his own grandmother to fit in. Im the kind of person who doesn't feel the need to know every single person in the room, or have them know who I am. I want to be well liked, but being the center of attention is the last thing I want. So anyway, there was no way I would go for him. Not only was he not my type at all, but he was also lived half an hour from where I lived. But he was cute, nice, and was someone new, someone I usually wouldn't go for. Change is good, right?
Things while we were together were fantastic. He was the perfect boyfriend, called me every morning to say good morning and called every night to say good night. He would complement me, give me attention, everything a boy should do. The only problem was that I wasn't the perfect girlfriend, always saying the wrong thing, not impressing his parents fully, and just not understanding his life. After a while I started noticing little changes in him. He would control me, not wanting me to cut my hair or hangout with certain friends. These things were so little but they hurt a lot more than i thought he intended.
Finally, he ended things, I could hardly believe it, things seemed to be going so well. I was completely heart broken that it almost didn't make sense. Weeks earlier I had been thinking that me and Ryan were unbelievebly incompatible and that things were not going to work out, but as soon as he ended it with me the thought was unconceivable. The first guy I had ever let into my life, let meet my insane family, let be my first for so many things. I had never thought something would hurt so bad, but the worse part was that I knew this was only the beginning. Im only 16 years old, this would probably be the first shattered heart of many, this was a thought that was less than comforting.
-M.
There will probably be more than this, more of the after and how I feel now. If any of you have any thoughts or stories you'd like to share I'd be happy to read them. I hope you Enjoyed this more personal entry.
Also, the names that I use in these life story entries are not their actual names!
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